Three young men in nicely ironed suits (each specially colored red, yellow and blue) walked into the receptionist desk/ waiting room where they spoke of their nightly plans after they get out of work.
“I’ve got a huge order of some of that ‘Snowy Red’ that needs some sniffing.” Said Vernerstein.
“I’ve got a date with Bae, you know, the Russian bombshell. We have a whole night planned.” Said Forsin.
“Not sure what’s going to happen in my night off.” Said “Aron.
The three men ignored the receptionist when she tried to make desperate attempts to pitch an idea. Sadly her ideas were not heard or even noticed, she went back to her desk and continued playing with her computer until an elderly man came up to the desk.
In the executive room, the three men sat behind a wood carved desk and were handed a sack of scripts to read or skim through rapidly.
“Mr. Vernerstein?” Asked the receptionist through the intercom
“Yes toots?” Replied Vernerstien, the man in the red suit.
The receptionist hesitated to reply, “…There’s a person here to see you.”
“Does he look like Santa Clause?”
“Wha..?” The receptionist sounded confused ‘A man who looks like Santa Clause?’.
“You know, white guy, white beard….Papa Noel. Is he named Papa Noel?”
“No, he says he wants to speak to you three.”
“Hahahah. Send him out, he sounds like a bum. Guys, let‘s have some fun with this jackass.”
“Sounds like a nut job.” Said Forsin.
“Maybe Papa Noel sent an errand boy, last time he brought the goods he was struggling to get here. Age is a terrible demon.” Said Aron, the man in the yellow suit.
“Bring him in toots.” Said Vernerstein through the intercom.
The doors open and along came a very short old man walking with a cane on his right hand and his other hand inside the pocket of his brown coat. The old man’s hair was black and thick, but his face was pale white and leathery while his lips looked plump and bloody.
“Pssst.” Called Vernerstein to Aron quietly. “If Papa Noel was too old to come, why would he send someone who’s way older than him?”
The old man adjusted himself in a plastic chair in front of the three men and prepared his voice.
“Hmmprrpp! My dear good men….”
“Did Papa Noel send you?” Interrupted Vernerstien.
“Who do you speak of?”
‘Christ’ Thought Aron, ‘This isn’t him.’“Who the hell are you?”
“Language my young one, this is no place for bad language. I advise you to contain your words. My name is not of importance. What is important is the message I’ve traveled many nights and miles to say to all of you.” Said the old man.
“Okay.” replied Forsin jokingly. “What did you come ‘all the way here’ to say?”
The old man hesitated to grab a folded sheet of paper from his breast pocket under his brown coat. “Hmmphhmmmm! My dear men, I stand before you to express my opinion and the opinion of others about the quality of the industry of moving pictures you three are in charge of green lighting and distributing to the public.”
The three old men chuckled from the way the old man called films ‘Moving Pictures’.
The old man heard their chuckle, but continued to read, “I have been a devoted fan of the cinema and the art of the cinema ever since I was a wee child. I have begged my mom a penny so I could spend a full day at a matinee watching pictures come to life and amaze the eyes as well as entertain.”
“A penny, when was this coot a kid,1980 something?” Scoffed Vernerstein silently.
“Throughout my lifetime I’ve seen many fine pictures from the silent era to the birth of Surround Sound, From black and white to Technicolor, from the Strict Film Codes to the Unrated Independent pictures. All eras have produced an equal amount of quality entertainment. I was entranced with film that after I graduated from college, I bought some untouched land and made a studio in which I was in charge of quality pictures we, the audience, wanted.”
“Speed it along gramps! Get to the point!” Called Vernerstien
“My point of this is to warn you, the executives and all of Hollywood, to change….. A change needed for all of us. Restore the way film was, restore the quality back. Pacing is your friend, subtlety is your friend, characters and arc are friends. Open your arms wide and let them in your life.”
“Hahahah. Do you have any suggestions for us to change?” Asked Forsin jokingly.
“That nice young lady at the front desk, she has the idea for change. Read her manuscript, do not change a single thing. Read all scripts and read the outsider scripts from young aspiring screenwriters and filmmakers, Give you recognizable talent a break. That will restore the quality in film. Give the rookies a chance”
“Hahahhah!” Laughed Vernerstien as loud as he could. “You sir have no idea what position we’re in. Here’s a quick tour for you, WE’RE EXECUTIVES! Hollywood is run on time old man. Movies depend on time and money, The sooner we get it out, the faster we get our sweet diamond paychecks! We earn more money than the government does in a single year!” Vernerstien stood from his chair and walked towards the short old man and placed his arm around his shoulder, he lead the old man to the window which displayed the perfect view of the Los Angeles metropolis. “If you don’t like the quality of films we make, we don’t give a single fuck. There are plenty of consumers out there who love our hits!!”
“You don’t understand.” Pleaded the old man “I’ve been a movie executive until they fired me back in 1997. We business men shouldn’t care about quantity but quality, If the movie is quality then expect a high demand for quantity. People, from kids to adults, want stories that connect with them or take them out of our daily grinding lives or give us a new and groundbreaking vision of how stories are told.”
“We still do that to this day old man, have you seen ‘Grown Ups 3’?” Asked Aron.
The old man just stood silent, avoiding the question.
“I get your problem.” said Forsin. “You’re too old.”
“I beg your pardon?” Asked the old man appalled by such remark.
“Yeah, your slow ass can’t keep up with our creative new wave of fast paced action and intelligent humor!”
“Fart jokes aren’t intelligent!!” Shouted the old man.
“Look old fart, let us do our job before you have an ‘Ulcer’ or whatever it is old people your age get. Okay? Now, just step our of our office before we call security.” Said Vernerstien
“But men, you must listen to my advice, the industry may collapse into itself, take chances! I am the man behind every idea each individual thinks, I turn that thought into a vision. I am the god of CREATIVITY!!!!!”
“That’s it!” Said Aron “Vernerstien called security, you better get out before Biff and Juff get here. You ever heard of ‘Schwarzenegger’ or ‘Stallone’? Biff and Juff were their body building trainers so you better leave before they turn you into dust.”
“Lay a hand on me and I will curse you and your measly company like I did to ‘Orion’, remember them?”
Two big men, One tanned like an orange and the other blacker than oil stood behind the old man and carried him out of the room.
“Burned rhinestone and solid liquid!!” Prayed the old man, “Aphrodite’s’ crevices and Zeus’ veiny muscles!! Let the spawning of evil originate from your minds and take them three alive!!!!! Curses, Curses!! Curses upon thee!!!”
“What a crazy old kook.” Said Vernerstien “Now let’s get back to work.”
The three men skimmed through the manuscripts without reading a single word or vowel.
“Hey look, we got one from ‘Tyler Perry’!!” Announced Aron “Tyler Perry’s: Medea Goes To The Dentist!”
“GREENLIGHT THAT NOW!!!!!!” Called Aron
Later that night Vernerstein sat in the neon filled basement of a very popular nightclub in Downtown Los Angeles. He sat amongst three smokey mascara women and a glass desk full of cocaine. Vernerstein divided the grains of coke into lines with a straight razor then began to snort them using a rolled up business card from his metal wallet.
“Papa Noel!” Called Vernerstein in a voice that was still audible through the loud transient music in the background. “Thanks for the white snow, I needed this today.”
“Bad day today?” Asked Papa Noel behind his white beard.
“Yeah, some old kook came into the offices today and warned us about Hollywood’s collapse. What a bunch of bull. ‘Snifff’ I mean this guy came in like something out of a weirdo movie. ‘Sniiffffff’ He looked like Ronald McDonald’s grandpa or something. ‘Snifff’ With the white skin and the red mouth and all ‘Sniff’. That guy cursed us and stuff ‘Sniff’ it was a funny scene man.”
“Whoah whoa.” Said Papa Noel “Take it easy, you don’t want to O.D.”
“Don’t tell me how to take my medicine!!! ‘Sniff’ I paid for this!” Warned Vernerstein. “I’m alright!”
Blood began to trail down out of his nose and slide horizontally through his lips.
“Okay, I think you have had enough.” Said Papa Noel as he slowly tried to take the bags of cocaine from Vernerstein’s possession. Vernerstein quickly grabbed the straight razor and made a clean swipe to Papa Noel’s neck. Black worm shaped blood began to splash and crawl around Verenrstein’s face. He saw the black worms crawl around his arm then absorb into his skin. The worms began to wriggle under the skin and make their way into Vernerstein’s chest.
The women in the room ran away in fear, yet no one at the club noticed anything bad.
“I gotta get them out of me!!!!!!!” he cried until he saw a strange person wearing a plastered on face mask of a clown in red footie pajamas travel out of the room. “Get back here!!!”
Vernerstein began to follow the red clown man with a straight razor in his hand.
Forsin sat on a white leather couch in his state of the art studio apartment, awaiting for his date. He had his eyes directed towards his girlfriend‘s purse.
“Honey.” Called Bae.
“What is it Bae?”
“What would you do if I grew myself a belly? You know, I feel like I need some meat on my bones.”
A sudden thought came to Forsin, ‘More cushion for the pushin.’
“Oh I wouldn’t mind Bae, but you do look good the way you are.” But that was a lie, he would leave his girlfriend if she decided to gave up on herself.
“The girls down at the say-lon told I would look good with dimples on my cheeks. Then there was this advertisement I saw on the papers, dimple surgery. Do you think I should have some of that done on me?” Asked Bae.
Forsin hesitated to answer back without enthusiasm. “Sure,…wha….what my bae wants my Bae gets.” then he giggled silently.
“Babe, I’m also trying to see if I can get some of that surgery to decrease the size of my boobs.”
Forsin drew the last straw “Now wait, you can’t get rid of the girls! Why?”
“I’m not comfortable with myself.” Said Bae “I want my inner self to shine.”
Aron sat in front of his desktop starring with a glued on expression of shock. His mouth did not move, neither did his eyes, arms or legs; he was shocked by the report he had received. Every film Aron, Forsin and Vernerstein had green lit lost more income than made income. He began to hear rain drops hit the windows of his cabin, the power goes off in the home. The only thing illuminating the room was a Africa tribal mask that was painted in glow in the dark paint; the mask hung on the wall along with his framed mediocre movie posters. The mask began to speak to Aron, he heard his voice, he could hear the orders the mask wants him to perform. As an agreement he grabbed the mask that hung on the wall and licked the wooden splinters off the old painted wood.
Vernerstein ran through the crowds of Hollywood tourists, keeping up with the clown man who mysteriously waltzed through people.
“Keep walking.” Said the strange clown masked man in a squeaky voice.
Verenrsterin’s legs began to feel brittle and sore, but he continued to chase the strange clown man.
“Babe.” Asked Forsin, “Where are you getting at?”
“My true self, she’s inside me.” replied Bae. “We all have our true beauties inside of us, that’s why we have certain personalities. Each of us either has a cute fat girl or a slender but evil thin man inside of us. We have them inside of us.”
“Okay okay.” Said Forsin, assuring her that she’s right so she does not begin to wave the box cutting blade on her right hand. “I believe you, we all have little people inside of us just give me that that thing before you hurt yourself.”
“I can show you!” Bae lifted her shirt and shoved the blade of the box cutter into her stomach, making a long incision from the bottom of her stomach up to the bottom of her ribcage. Blood splashed down on her feet, staining the white shaggy carpet.
“Oh god!!!!” Yelled Forsin.
As Bae stood conscious with a large inscision on her stomach, two hands coming from inside of her stomach began to open the incision wider and wider. Out came a small little person with a deformed face, a stench of formaldehyde and fully soaked in blood.
Forsin watched in fear as the small person emerged from Bae.
“I’m the inner beauty.” Said the deformed little person in a high pitched voice.
Aron began to crawl to the basement with his knees sliding through shards of glass on the floor.
“My knees bleed, they bleed the blood I do not deserve. I am giving back my blood to you king Bostufasa.” Said Aron emotionless and hypnotized in a deep daze.
Aron kneeled down to the glow in the dark mask, watching at his crazy actions.
“What bidding shall I do for you my master.”
The glowing mask hung on the wall in it’s dormant state.
“Kill the flame. As you command.”
Vernerstein followed the clown man into a narrow alley full of scattered newspapers caught in an updrafts and brick walls. The strange clown man was nowhere to be seen, Vernerstein stood in front of a dead end.
Vernerstein began to laugh violently. “Hahah!!!! Game over!!!! HHAAAAHHHHH!!! WHERE ARE YOU YOU WEIRD CLOWN!”
Vernerstein spotted a small tube sticking out of the concrete ground which was much to small and narrow for even a pinky finger to fit inside of.
The clown man appeared behind Vernerstein out of thin air.
“Watch the tube.” He whispered.
The tube sticking our of the ground began to make rumbling sounds, a normal sized arm erupts from the small tube and begins to push itself out of the small tube. It was a strange sight for Vernerstein, it wasn’t everyday that a strange clown lures you to a tube sticking out of the ground in a deserted alley and seeing a person emerge from a small tube.
In a high upper class suburbs, a young woman by the name of ‘Bordella Anexica’ laid in her bed nude with her new suitor, an angry yuppie from wall street. She had a nice dinner with him at an exquisite luncheon up north of Downtown L.A. Now they rest, skin to skin, until there’s a rough knock at the door.
“Good god, That’s probably my roommate. She always knocks on the door like a complete maniac. Wait here, I’ll tell her to scram.” Said Anexica.
“If she’s hot tell her to join us.” Replied her suitor jokingly.
Five deputies kick down the door of the cabin and rush in with their weapons fully loaded and full of adrenaline until they stood upon the gruesome sight. Forsin sitting on Bae’s body as he continued biting her arm and rubbing her blood all over his face.
“My word.” Said one of the deputies in shock and awe.
Forsin placed the box cutting blade onto his stomach, ready to cut his stomach open until he said “I’m going to let my inner fat girl out, you’ll love her. She’s adorable. She‘s the reason why I have weight issues, She wants out.”
Anexica opens the door to see a Forsin, soaked wet and hypnotized with his knees drenched in his own blood.
“What the hell are you doing here, and what’s with your knees?” Asked Anexica angrily.
“I’ve loved you since our eyes, coat tails and hands met at ….”
“You didn’t love shit, you’re late to the party boy! Now if you’ll excuse me all this ruckus makes me want to make love to my new SUITOR!!” replied Anexica in defense.
“If I can’t have you and you suitor has you, then no one can have you!!!” Aron tackled Anexica to the ground and began to shove his two fingers down her throat violently.
In the bedroom on the first floor, Anexica’s suitor rushed downstairs with his pistol to see what was going on below him. Anexica was dead on the floor dead and Aron was licking the saliva off his fingers. The sight of the yuppie’s dead interest caused him to fire his gun at Aron; a gush of blood gushed out of his wounds. The hellfire of the gun pushed Aron out of the home and fall into the front doorstep.
Vernerstein was standing in front of his doppelganger, a clone of himself who was conceived from a tube sticking out of the ground but it had nothing but hollow eye sockets, he needed eyes.
“He’s your son.” Said the weird clown man. “He will replace you and your life. Let him see your life through your eyes, lend him your eyes.”
Vernerstein gave his eyeless doppelganger his straight razor, “Be sure to cut around the socket my son.”
One Year Later
In a newly refurbished executive room, a young secretary enters the room with her arms wrapped on her stomach, feeling as if she had butterflies fluttering inside.
“Ahh, you’re here.” Said the old man with his face hidden inside the pages of a newspaper.
“Yes, you called me.” Said the secretary silently.
“Mhm, I called you here to discuss an important matter. When leaving the office I stumbled upon a copy of your screenplay.”
The young woman gave a shocked look, she had been looking for her screenplay all over her apartment room all night yesterday.
“I read it.” The old man continued. “I see full potential in this, this could be the next ‘Moonstruck‘, or the ‘When Harry Met Sally’ of the next generation. I will offer you a deal to buy your script and if you choose I’ll let you direct and produce your work for the big screen.”
“Are you joking?” Asked the young receptionist.
“Why would I be, I am the man who is set out to make dreams and nightmares come true and make quality films.” The old man put down his newspaper to show his pale white face and blood red lips.
“Really, aren’t you afraid It’s going to flop and make you loose money?”
“Quality equals quantity, I believe this quality work of yours is going to make money. I’m the idea man.” The old man gave off a satisfied smile.