Let’s get into some fictional horror stories.
I’m kidding, they’re real horror stories.
Okay, this will be newsworthy but I’m sure we all have heard about the passing of Leonard Nimoy. I’m very much a classic Star Trek fan & I’m just as sad as everyone. So the news hit the airwaves on friday & the awesome channel ‘MeTV’ decided to air specific episodes of shows which Nimoy guest starred in with dedications before every break.
This part of the story is what makes this Blogababble worthy here, So Obama shared his love for the actor & sorrow for his passing, Republicans went freaking nuts & decided they hate Nimoy, just cause Obama said he dug him. I’m asking the same shit you are asking, how did the Republican party decend to ‘This’? If your history teachers haven’t taught you, the Republican party wasn’t always this stupid & narrow minded. They used to be progressive & all about human rights, now they’ve turned to this bible schtumping, hate spewing, Pat Robinson fucking assholes. Too all you ‘Radical Republicans’ that don’t fall into the criteria, damn I feel all your pain. Seriously, these republicans can’t set aside their differences to mourn the loss of an iconic figure & let their politics get in the way of what’s important.
So overall, Republicans in power are still stupid. Also, Nimoy was more than just an actor, he was a poet, photographer & he was big on both Science fiction & science fact. He made the best Star Trek sequel ever (Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home) & it’s come to my attention (Just now) he directed that one movie ‘Three Men & a Baby’. He’s one of the greatest optimists & entertainers of our time, he will be sadly missed. Oh & how can we not mention the death of a humble celebrity without Fred Phelps & his band of cum-gurglers! There was a funny picture explaining how their plan to sabotage the funneral will be illogical, mainly because there might be Klingon Cosplayers itching to use their warrior blades. Bat’leths are what they’re called & I want a sharp replica of these things, they look badass.
Well it can’t be a current affairs segment if we don’t talk about the stupidity of these ‘Anti-Vaxxers’. Oh my god, how is the Republican party to fix their reputation, cheap question, they can’t anymore. Some blonde cunt from Fox News decided to tell everyone that vaccinations against measles is linked to autism. Yup, these are the same people that are trying to indoctrinate what they consider ‘Family Values’ & apparently to them, Autism is the same as being ‘sinfully’ gay. There are no facts to back the theory that vaccines cause autism. Let’s say if it was linked to autism & scientists back that statement up with various facts, an autistic child is better than a dead one. To be honest I have not read up on Autism, but I do know it doesn’t kill people, like measles. The fucked up part about this is the children of these parents don’t know anything about what’s happening, they’re much too young to understand this sort of stuff & their retarded parents are making the decisions for them. Sick fact here kids, there’s a coloring book called ‘Measles is Marvelous’, I shit you not I thought this was a made up joke from ‘The Onion,’ turns out it‘s real. So these assholes are willing to kill their kids over the fact that some krumpet raping Brit made a slanderous article in a medical journal (Which was printed in 1999) & tell kids that a disease that has killed millions in the past is ‘A-OK’? BULLSHIT!! This is all stupidity, their stupidity will someday get me & many smart Americans a fucking ulcer!!! I’d would like to say “Hey, at least the stupid are dying while all of us with a fully functioning brain are getting vaccinated.” But no, I’m not that horrible of a person & these are children’s lives they’re tampering with, just so they can push their agenda these assholes think is zenith of living in a clean society. Well it isn’t & it’s sickening & a bunch of doctors are not happy.
You wanna know the sick thing of all of this? All of this didn’t get traction until these Libretard hippies ,the kind that live in architecturally unique houses on the ritzy parts of town & shop at ‘Whole Foods’, were the first ones to pretty much cry foul against vaccinations. To quote Sir Josh Hadley (Radiodrome, WTF, Hart Attack, Lost in the Satic pod casts) “Filthy Hippies.” Even more horrible news, the repercussions of this may cause ‘Polio’ to come back. FUCK!!! I’ve made polio jokes in the past, I don’t want it back. Not only is it a horrible disease, but I want to keep on making fun of polio, without being called a monster.
Most of my audience who comes to this site is from California (Am I right, am I wrong? Email me!!!) so when channel surfing through the television (if any of you still watch TV) you tend to discover a public access show or a channel that you haven‘t noticed until now. Well if you’re Mexican, know anyone who watches Mexican channels or smoke lots of pot, you’ll be quite acquainted with a channel called ‘Estrella TV’ (Translation: Star TV). When it comes to politics, they’re all out 99% for Illegal Immigration & most of their news telecasts talk about nothing but illegal immigration topics. I will say, the movies they air border on both Horribly made & shitty to hilarious; that’s the same channel they aired a low-budget ‘horror’ film I call ‘Juannibal Lector’.
Okay, just to go off topic for a little, this movie made my ribs hurt out of how bad & funny it was. I don’t know the exact original title, but this was one of the funniest films I’ve seen. It was all shot on digital camcorders so you know off the top the quality of this. So this guy is a hungry screenwriter who keeps on sending his scripts to the studios & having them turned down because as you know about soap operas, they’re targeted to the lowest common denominator & his scripts are too intelligent and violent. So to satisfy both his anger & cannibalistic rage, he hires a gross fat hooker, chops them up & puts them in an obvious bloody bags. (I know the hookers in Hollywood movies aren’t realistic looking & look way too overly attractive, but this film would have benefited with a prettier looking hookers. Just saying.) Juannibal Not a person notices it & this is the kind of quality of film we‘re dealing with. So then this film takes a tonal shift when we see two detectives investigating the murder at the hotel Juannibal killed the fat hooker. Then we get introduced to his ‘Lover’, a stereotypical flaming fat gay who gets pissy when Juannibal’s female neighbors knock on his door & ask for coffee or whatever. Then the ladies, being idiot characters, wonder “Is he gay?” If the fat stereotypical gay didn’t give you the clear & simple answer , then you must be the biggest idiot since Miss America answered that question about the map. So the whole film is Juannibal Lector killing fat ugly (& I mean uglier than vomit, they had gross guts. Not bellies, guts) hookers & these two horribly acted cops are close to catching him & the movie ends with Juannibal Lector feeding everyone in is family brains at a BBQ. The final shot of the female head on a platter is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. I tried to Google the name of the film, instead I get results of a film called ‘We Are What We Are’ released in 2010, that’s not it. It was a shitty cheap movie & I’m pretty sure that channel will air it again.
Back on topic, so what does Estrella TV have to do with politics? Well, cable companies have recently been in the up & up about removing certain network television channels that either demand more or push a certain political agenda, though that varies from cable companies. According to Estrella TV, ‘Xfinity & Comcast are trying to silence them & take the immigrants right to useful information!!!’ They’ve launched an Ad campaign showing clearly edited footage of John Boehner (More like John Beaner) talking & making it sound like he hates all Mexicans. Okay, as much as I hate John Boner, Estrella TV could have picked from the various other speeches he’s made that clearly show how much of an asshat racist he is instead of editing various clips to make that forced point, it‘s pretty lazy. That’s one point lost for the very little credibility they have. Then along with that there’s a deep & menacing voice used as a narrator for this advert, let’s scare people with a cheap Mexican Darth Vader voice!
“Luke, I’m your papi!!”
Then they added a cheap photoshop affect of a sniper crosshairs pointing at random footage of illegal immigrants marching. So this whole marketing campaign has went from Cable companies taking their channels away (Mainly involving money) to some shit conspiracy about Republicans & cable companies to silence the Mexicans! The ad could have benefited with more accurate footage of these asshat republicans, believe me, they’ve said shit that should have tossed ’em off their seat in congress. I won’t deny that Republicans like Boehner (More like Boner, BOIOIOING!!! Gross) are racist, but Estrella TV isn‘t doing the research. Their news is stupid by reporting on shit without facts (Like Fox News), airing shitty & racist variety shows that would make the annoying kid in your classroom look like a poetic intellectual (Like the Fox Corporation) & they basically are disgusting people (Like all the blonde people in Fox). The people behind this channel are Fox News but with Mexicans & probably shit tons of silicone & tequilla. I take back all that I said about ‘Univision’ in the past, at least those guys don’t have the clout ‘Estrella TV’ has. This channel is stupid when it comes to politics & news, but I do love watching their shitty ‘Shot on Tijuanna’ movies. I will admit they are doing something no other channel is doing, which is airing Narco-cinema films which range on horrible to hilarious.
Reasons to watch ‘Estrella TV’:
-Cheap ‘Shot on Shitteo’ movies
-Funny while stoned (Or not a Spanish Speaker. White people welcome)
Reasons why not to watch ‘Estrella TV’:
-Disgraceful Variety Programs
-Cheap Photoshop effects.
-Oh & they air way too many adverts for lawyers who can’t speak good Spanish.
I’m sure all of you have read Orwell’s ‘1984’, of course you have, everyone has read the book or know anything about the book. Well I’m sure all of us who read the book are thinking “Thank god this is fiction & this will never happen.” Oh how the faithful die, Samsung (Those Asians that make televisions) have released a statement to the consumer telling everyone to not speak of things that might incriminate them near their voice operated, Smart televisions. I give Samsung kudos for informing the public, instead of just ninja striking everyone like a walking anus. Smart TV’s are stupid, oh my mistake, Telescreens are stupid. Yup, this is a fucking silkscreen for Samsung that is used to record & sell information to third parties. It’s not specified which third party companies are willing to sell such private information. Think about it, to the few of you who could afford a silkscreen & use the voice activated modules to give you the library of a specific anime, then turns out you keep getting ads for anime. Better yet, you start looking for a movie that’s been banned on your country & you check whether Netflix has it, oh, you’re watching that ‘Serbian Film’ that’s been banned in the country you live, looks like the government bought that info just so they can arrest you & milk you out of every cent you have. It can happen, probably has already. Fuck these Telescreens, only fatass lazy people use voice modules to change the channel. Not only TV’s are guilty of this, video game systems with voice modules like the PS4 & the already totalitarian XBOX ONE are guilty of this. It sickens me, mainly because 1984 scared the shit out of me as a tween & here we are, cameras everywhere, drones in the sky, anal probes, Anal Probes, ANAL PROBES!!!!! If only I was gay, then the fact of anything going up the butt would not scare me so. But I’m straight, & butt things scare me.
Today we don’t have a timeless topic, in a matter of weeks/ months this will be all outdated, just like our current affairs section. I’ll be discussing some changes that will be coming to the site.
For starters, Blogababble entries won’t be coming weekly anymore, it might be bi-weekly or monthly mainly because I’ll be working on some other stuff on the site. Expect to see more ‘The Next Panel’ entries showcasing comics you may have never knew existed. I’m currently writing the outline for the second season for ‘Welcome To The Dissidents’ which will be coming soon, I’ll keep you in check on that & this time it will be a trip you‘ll never forget. I admit the first season I didn‘t have my A-game on because I was posting the episodes after I‘ve finished which made for mediocre writing & not enough time to think of anything because I was very eager to write. After two years of this, I’m ready to take my time.
Also, I’ll be posting new short stories that I’ve recently got inspiration for. I was pretty astounded by the reception I got for ‘Scavengers of the Morning’ story I wrote. Expect to see a wide variety of shorts on the site, one I’m titling ‘No Student Left Alive’. I was pretty toned down when I wrote ‘Scavengers…’, but this one will be brutal. I’m going the whole nine yards with the violence on this one. It occurred to me that this would make a good Halloween story, but I’d rather write it now before inspiration runs out. You horror hounds are gonna love it!!!
If you haven’t been keeping up with the announcements on Tumblr or Facebook, you’ll be excited to hear that ‘The Monteclaire Project’ will be coming to Blacktime! Yup, you thought it was over? It’s not over till the fat lady sings. To all you people who are still virgins & haven’t been exposed to ’The Monteclaire Project’, you will love it. If you’ve enjoyed the few stories that were posted on it‘s original run, more will be coming. It excites me because this specific series was not created by me & I’m not in-charge of the whole of the story (mainly because it’s an anthology series) but I will occasionally throw out some ideas about how the series could go. When it comes to my two biggie series that I’ve done like ‘Welcome To The Dissidents’ & ‘He Came Tumbling Over’ I pretty much did everything on it, write the outlines, read them over 30 times & rewrote chapters before I put them on the site. It’s time consuming & difficult, but It’s a labor of love at the end of it all. ‘The Monteclaire Project’ is one of those where I’ll read the stories that I receive, write stories & throw out some ideas in the board meeting, it’s kinda refreshing. So watch out for some more WWII horror & adventure, I’ll keep you guys posted on what happens. I know ‘Kenny’ is pretty psyched, he created it & I’m for sure we’ll get double the readership than it did in it’s original run.
So if you’ve been on Tumblr since the very beginning, you’ll noticed there are a few pictures I posted in a Tumblr-only series I did called ‘Comic Porn’. Guess what? I’m done with that, Comic Porn has been cancelled. Yup, I was tired of it, uploading pictures of comics (along with a small article based on these comics), only to have them be lost in the feed. Will I do a comic porn-esque type of series on Blacktime? Maybe, keep your eyes peeled. I will not say for sure whether I’ll do it or not, it’s a surprise.
For all of you thinking whether there will still be ‘Adventures in Pancakes’ episodes? Yes, but will I take a break once I run dry on ideas. I do this a lot, I’ll take a break from ‘Adventures in Pancakes’ & work on ‘Comic Strip Therapy’ which is another comic strip which is a release from daily stress. Expect to see more Pancakes though.
I guess that settles it, nothing but news news news! Current affairs & stuff going on behind the computer screen scenes. You all know where to contact me:
And remember, the selfie stick will not outlive ambient noise.