I have a funny, awkward (I doubt any of you will chuckle at this) kind of story. Like every other Sunday I go to a flea market (I also call it ‘The Bazaar’) just to spend chump change on stuff, mainly used games & comics. So I find this guy selling VHS tapes of some pretty good movies, all for a dollar. So I get myself a handful of videotapes (hahahah, you children don‘t know what a VHS tape is), I got ‘Escape from New York, The Shadow (That movie sucked ) & Apocalypse Now’. When the vendor was putting the tapes into a bag, he tells me “Have you seen this movie? It’s about the apocalypse.” At that moment I was worried I spent money on the wrong movie. I was actually hoping I accidentally bought a cheap Christianity film like ‘Left Behind’ or something equally as goofy. Nope, I got the right movie, it’s the Vietnam movie. So yeah, that’s my cheap funny story, but here’s a better one.
One time I had to join my dad in going to the scariest & depressing place in America (probably Mexico too) Walmart! I never like going to that place, & it’s not the people. Yes, all of us internet dwellers have seen the pictures of these hicks not even trying & I don’t see it as a ‘Eww, look at this freakshow’ type of irony people say it is. Those are real people, they aren’t dressing up or looking ugly just to be internet famous, that’s reality disguised as jokes. The people that make a huge deal out of those people are handsome people, sorry to say. I live in ‘Harbor City California’, not exactly the vanilla of suburban life. Around the place there are what the internet calls ‘Walmart People’ & they’re around, collecting cans or shopping at the 99cent store. They’re around & to me it’s common, common like the blue sky. Though I will say ‘Bellflower C.A’ has attractive people there, too many attractive people. Everyone who lives there looks like a model for Vogue.
Where was I? Ah, yes! So I was at Walmart & I hate their business practices involving the workers, the C.E.O’s are evil evil evil!!! The Walmart there doesn’t carry the hick clientele (‘cause, you know, California) but it sure does get a lot of stupid typical California people (which is worse, I’d rather date a Walmart monstrosity ,if she’s smart, than a dumb person). So there are a lot of dumb, typical Cali teens in that place & when waiting in line for a cash register, there was a cute albino girl sitting in a shopping cart. This girl was so cute, she puts cat videos to shame, I’m not lying. So waiting in line this little girl was speaking her infant gibberish when these two stereotypical teen girls walk by & loudly yell out (& I doubt they were being sincere) “OH MY GOD, THAT POOR GIRL HAS CANCER!!” Her blonde hair & pale skin must have though he was bald, were those bitches colorblind?
Anyone ever watched ‘YuGiOh’ back in 2001? I’m talking about the original (Duelist Kingdom) series, not the whole Millennium World, Virtual World, Domino City, GX, Xexal motorcycle bullcrap; I’m talking about the Yugi Moto going to a castle island with his friends to play cards with other people using a pyramid necklace as a cheating device. Yes people, Yugi cheated throughout those goddamn matches using the power of Egyptian magic, he‘s no duelist champion. So as a kid I always loved the first season because I liked it when anime shows involved school & friendship & a card game, Nothing more, nothing less. Then the later seasons I thought were repetitive & boring, of course Yugi was going to win a duel & what was the point of stretching a card battle to eight or ten episodes? So anyways I was left with watching only the earlier seasons because I dug those seasons before everything became mediocre, then I stumbled upon the Manga version of YuGiOh where the stories were much much different & way more adult than the Anime. There are plenty of YuGiOh manga that was published by VIZ, but the one I’m talking about is just called ‘YuGiOh’, stand alone title. So this original series delves into Yugi Muto finishing his millennium puzzle, wearing it around like a gangsta, & turning into Yami Yugi (More like older & seductive Yugi) when shit gets serious. As I said before, this series is much mature than the Anime that was edited & aired here in the U.S. There was a chapter in the manga where a fake fortuneteller in school is abducting women in the high school, that’s not kid friendly, or is it? So this series dealt with Yugi & his exploits involving the scum of the earth (not GWAR) & how he uses his love of games to save the day & his friends. This an amped up YuGiOh with violence, language & tons & tons of innuendos!!!! This was pretty awesome, even for a teen like me who finds enjoyment out of Japanese manga & anime. Then the internet made me aware that they animated the stories into a 28 episode OVA (original Video Animation). This was pretty weird, all this time I thought this was never animated because animation companies in the U.S.., you know how they are, THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!! So that weirded me out, I’m on episode 5, I hope I’m not disappointed by the last episode (Unlike the 1989 ‘The Guyver’ which ended in a cliffhanger) so that’s an anime you can see all on YouTube, check it out.
I read a lot of Manga, watch a lot of Anime, but I also read American comics which recently have gained their popularity due to the success of the Marvel movies. We’re living in a renaissance of comics where people are reading comics, but at the same time we’re living in a dark time for comics because there aren’t any innovations happening unlike the game changing occurances that happened in the 80’s & before. I’m not going to discuss ‘Lady Thor’ here, not now, never because everyone else is talking about it. I’ll just be another voice amongst the loud crowd, I’m not making a big deal out of that. Instead, I’m going to bring something up that not everyone in the comic community may not thought of. Why is it that the civilians in the DC universe are idiots? I’m not kidding, whenever a superhero makes a mistake, the civilians turn against these heroes after a simple mistake like not being able to save a person or accidentally blowing up a water dam & are compared to Hitler. These superheroes do have superpowers & use them against evil rather than for evil, they‘re allowed to make mistakes. I don’t know if this is a clause DC Comics set up for writers to always make the civilians human, but it sounds like it. One minute the people of Metropolis are praising superman like he’s canned hairspray, then one second later he’s called evil because he accidentally blew up a monument or something as stupid as that. I just wanted to bring awareness to that, but there was one comic I will mention which made good use to the civilians in the DC universe. I know this book has been said a lot but ‘Dark Knight Returns’ by Frank Miller made good use of both the sides of civilians, you have the civilians that see Batman as a bad influence to the youth of Gotham City & pick apart the psychosis influenced by Batman, then you also have the civilians that see Batman as an icon or a prophet that influences them to becoming a vigilante group. So, I’m not complaining or bitching, I’m just saying something that I’m seeing a lot that not a lot of people are discussing. DC civilians deserve to get hit in the face with a metal mace.
Anyone here read ‘The Giver?‘ That’s one of those books I knew nothing about, but judging the cover of the book I thought it was about a pretentious poet who hates coherence & spends the rest of the book moping about stuff we could care less about. I was wrong, very very wrong. Remember this kids, never judge a book by it’s cover, unless it’s ‘Twilight’, then judge all you want. For those of you who haven’t read it, ‘The Giver’ is a straight forward book about a boy living under a structured community which isn’t particularly Totalitarianism, but I would have to say it’s similar to communism. Conservation is key & everyone‘s lives are structured in a messed up way. So in this book, Jonas (our lead) is now an apprentice for a special man in that community known as the title suggested ‘The Giver’. Without spoiling what occurrs in the book, Jonas is given a job to keep secrets & receive memories The Giver transmits through touch. For a children’s book I say it pretty morbid & dark for something that was published in 1993. I am aware that this book will be released as a film sometime this year, but I have no clue how it looks or how it will perform on the big screen. It’s targeted to the teenagers, but will it maintain the natural pacing & the dark themes in the film? I do not know, I have not seen the trailer, nor do I wish to see it. With teens being so ‘ADHD’ & loosing interest when not seeing anything explode (or in some cases, not seeing handsome GQ models on screen) I have a bad feeling the film will be different than the book in a bad way. The books’ dialogue is what kept most of the 20 chapters thrilling & exciting, this isn’t exactly an action packed book; I have a bad feeling the film might try to cash in on the current trend of the Action Dystopia books for teens that may have began with ‘The Hunger Games’ (which to me was an alright book, horrible movie). We’ll have to see what happens. As for the book, ‘The Giver’ is a must read for anyone who has kids or for anyone who is a big fan of the dystopian genre.
So, is there any political news that won’t anger me? No.
Hmph. I have no clue what to talk about that won’t anger me.
So, I’ll talk of more nerdy shit, AVGN (Angry Video Game Nerd) has not made an episode in a while. The last recent episode he uploaded was for ‘Desert Bus’, the infamous bus simulation game made by none other than Penn & funny ass Teller. So, why has he not done any AVGN? He’s busy with Let’s Play videos (Which are more entertaining than you’d expect) & he’s been finishing up his film. AVGN is now a full length film which will be screened in select theaters but nowhere near my area or within driving distance. But Jebus, you live in California, it’s Hollywoodland there, you can get there. True, James Rolfe (Star & Creator of AVGN) said he is going to first premiere the film in Gruman’s Chinese Theater where practically every big budgeted studio film has been premiered. Here’s the thing, HOW IN HELL AM I GOING TO GET THERE?
So I’m waiting till James decided to distribute them into DVD or the ethical way………….bootleg a copy. That is if anyone puts the film on the internet. No matter what the internet viewing masses say about AVGN, I still get a kick out of his video game reviews & he should ease off on the Diarrhea humor. Nostalgia Critic tries too hard to be a meme, he is no meme.
I’m gonna do a list here, it’s been long since I’ve done one, this one might be different than the other ones I have done. Last time I was dealing with geek stuff like movies, video games, stuff most of everyone cares or could care less about. This week I’ll be talking about :
TOP 10 WAYS TO RESPOND TO JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
This is going to be difficult to explain to the international audience who live in countries where ‘Jehovah Witnesses’ are non-existent there. They are people who go door to door & tell you about the word of Jebus (Jesus Christ) & if you already know the word of Jesus, they’ll say “Fuck that word, hear our word.” These people basically go door to door & recruit people into the religion of Jehova, give you a copy of some book called ‘The Watchtower’ & harass you every fucking weekend to say whether you’re interested. They’re parasites & these are the same idiots who say homosexuals are recruiting us straight people to live gay (As in Homosexual) lives.
So here’s a way to scare these people away or at least have fun when they appear at your door.
#10. Wear the same clothes as they have: Act like them & say everything they say, like a doppelganger. Give ‘em a taste of their own medicine. See how they like it.
#9. Cross- Dress: Dress on man, weird lumberjack attire for woman. I’m pretty sure they’ll freak out.
#8. Robot Voice: Don’t Jehovah witnesses hate technology, or am I thinking about another religion?
#7. Dressed as Batman, speaking in a Death Metal voice: At the end of every sentence, you have to say ‘Mah parents are dead’ in the Batman voice.
#6. Talk with your instruments: If you can let your instruments do the talking, then you are on your way to becoming better than Eric Clapton. Talk to them using your instruments, or better, use your instruments to mimic the things he’s saying.
#5. Wear a horse mask & act like a personified horse: NNEEIIIGHH!!!!!
#4. Weird Anime Fetishists: Either wear those weird anime masks I’m seeing a lot or hold those body pillows & obsess over waifus with the solicitors. Anime scares normal people, that’s why it’s still a niche & mainstream thing.
#3. Satanic coven: Give them a counter offer, sacrifice them to a pentagram & you’ll join the church of Jehovah.
#2. Dressed up like a sleazy porn star: Hey, you want in? I’ll I’m going to have to ask for you is to wear some gloves, there’s been a herpies outbreak all up in this bitch.
#1. Biohazard suit: Run out the door before they speak a word & yell “I couldn’t disarm the nerve gas, every man for himself!!!! HAUL ASS!!!!!” & just make them run for their lives.
If you’re planning to do any of what I talked about in this list, don’t blame me for your arrest. J Blame the people who blast through the separation of church & state.
I would like to continue talking, but there seems to be nothing else to talk about. Nothing that won’t increase my blood pressure. So I’m calling it a day, there will be a ‘Comic Strip Therapy’ this week, just keep looking at the Blacktime feed in both ‘Tumblr’ or ‘Facebook’.
Also Check out ‘The Monteclaire Project’:
Any other links? Oh yeah, I’m on facebook talking crazy stuff like those guys in the streets with the ‘End is Nigh’ sign around their torso. PLEEZ BEE MAH NAYBOR!!!!
It’s funny, I’ll say something clever, yet I won’t get any likes for that clever status update. I’ll see you later, & I’m very hard at work for my mini-series I’m planning. So watch out for that. See ya & good night everyone. To my audience in the Philippines, stay dray & safe out there. To all the people in the world, stay safe out there gurrlfriend!!! Tons of shit has been going on that I’ll talk about next Blogababble installment. Stay fresh.
If you are still reading this, that means you are an awesome person who knows it's not over till the fat man sings.