We’re not eating out, there’s food in the house.
First off, maw & paw, we live in an apartment! Second, I just got an B+ on Math!
So more than a few times we as kids would crave fast food & sadly that’s nobody’s fault but advertising, we were conditioned to love fast food, beg our parents to take us to Disneyland & cry if we couldn’t get it! It’s true, we were conditioned with all the advertising in both Saturday Morning/Weekday Afternoon cartoon blocks of the 90’s & 2000’s that boasted a whimsical world featuring Ronald Mc.Donalds and the Burger King kids club full of the diversity kids that would make your uber liberal professor orgasm & make your uber conservative grandparents shit a brick. Burger King advertised to kids, Mc.Donalds has pretty much built an empire on selling to kids & then you get the weird restaurants who were trying to target the kids but failed because all they offered was a unique meal box & a maze with crayons, but no licensed toys & as kids we bet on the known over the unknown. Whether you remember it or not, Wendy’s had happy meals that were heavily advertised too. It’s odd, Wendy’s would have licenses to cartoons that were genuinely popular (I think they had ‘Ed Edd & Eddy’ toys once. I believe they had the licence to the Cartoon Network library. I do know they had the license to ‘Arthur’ & while some of the toys were ‘meh’, they did give out a computer game & it was pretty ballsy), yet I never in my childhood knew anyone who either ate a Wendy’s or were psyched for Wendy’s toys. Mind you, this was pre-Twitter snarky Wendy’s girl who roasted a bunch of people on Twitter. Remember that shit? Then they turned her to porn in zero to none seconds. That is the fate for everyone now, if you’re popular, you are porn. Nowadays marketing happy meal toys is sorta there (Mostly in the form of Mc.Donalds Happy Meals because they won the Fast Food wars. Should have been ‘Taco Bell’), mainly because of idiot parental groups who called for fast food chains to stop advertising to kids & outright ban toys from happy meals, actually it was a ban for all junk food (Cheetoes, candies, sodas, etc.) to stop advertising to kids. If you watch those kids commercial compilations from 2003 all the way till the 80’s, a lot of junk food brands were targeting kids which are now heavily advertised in prime time like Doritos & Burger King. I know that was an issue in both the middle school & high school I went to. I recall ‘Sprite’ having a commercial on Kids WB where a CGI sun was chasing a family through the house, that was a funny yet creepy advert. I say the people voting to ban junk food on kids TV are idiots (Though they were kinda right) because rather than these parents enforcing rules among their children to not eat a lot of fast food (Like my parents did!), they just called for a nationwide ban on advertising to kids & honestly, the ban on happy meal toys is retarded. I know I repeat the stereotype a lot, but I bet these parents are the same type of parents who raise these fucked up kids who can’t make friends, eat nothing but rice cakes and water & sadly end up becoming serial killers due to being repressed. Mc.Donalds circumvented that with their ‘Mighty Kids Meal’ which made healthier alternatives & sadly nobody else followed suit & that’s why not a lot of restaurants give away free toys to kids. It’s kinda sad. Here I go again with the tangents.
Ahhh, the days when Saturday morning commercials advertised sugary drinks to kids & actually tricked people (On the first few seconds) into thinking this was an advert for something else.
I’m sure there are some of you out there who have gone through this either back in the day or recently, there’s very little food in the house & all you can do is whip up something with whatever’s available. There have been many a time back in the day when I would make butter & syrup sandwiches. Holeeshit! The STRUGGLE! Then there was a time where I raided the cupboard to see what I could eat. I’m sure if you go to the kitchen right know you would find tin cans full of chili, stew & whatever tin can food was available that either someone gave you or it just magically appeared. There was a can of beef stew in one of them, I think I started hallucinating & smelling words after cooking & eating that at age 12. I was home that summer & my parents weren’t around, watching nothing but ‘DIC’ cartoons. Those were them days. That is the struggle right there, so all you kids should be grateful to have a magical fridge that’s always full. Then you get the weird moments where you’re expecting to eat at home, but the parents decide “Nah, let’s eat out!” That always struck me as cool & odd, mainly with my thinking. Here I am a week ago being bummed out that we aren’t eating out, but here is my mom suggesting we eat out, ON A SCHOOL NIGHT! Especially if I was planning on eating something from the fridge. ‘Sigh’, my mind is a fuck. Well nowadays I’m not as all pissed off for not eating out, what pisses me off more is when my nose would play tricks on me. I would smell what I would think as the scent of grilled chicken or meat frying on the girdle (Vegans fuck off) & I would come out to see my mom is just frying cilantro for some stew & my heart breaks more than being sent cellphone porn of your crush & some masked guy getting it on. Wowe, that went dark, but it’s raw, like life!!!
I remember scaring the hell out of my younger sister by showing her this commercial on TV.
This was a fun Pizza Hut to be in, I could imagine playing Roleplaying Games on that gaming arena, eating nothing but breadsticks & pizzas with Pepsi. That place had an 80’s, 90’s vibe to it & I loved it. Then we get to the idiotic decision corporate made & they’re the only culprit for this crime! They sold that property, they put up a sign that said ‘Pizza Hut will be moving up the street on PCH’ & that property was sold to some grilled Baja Burger place that just doesn’t appeal to me. This looks like type of place where the only entertainment they offer is to watch the big game on the televisions. It’s like a sports bar! Sports bars are just not for me, I’m not a sports person. What did Pizza Hut do? They set up shop a little shop up the street, but they just bought a small little space & turned their restaurant into a kiosk. That’s all that it is now, you call Pizza Hut, they make the pizza & all you can do is pick up the pizza on that little kiosk. No longer are their dining tables, no longer are there big screen TV’s, no longer are there arcade games! It’s all just a cashier table with a kitchen out back, a small bench which only holds one obese person, a menu & a little fridge where they sell liter soda. It makes me sad, but also I do got a funny story about this place. I once tagged along with my older sister to grab a pizza she ordered & we had to wait an eternity for the pizza to be done. So I was sitting on the bench & this random (Pretty) plus sized Asian woman tried to start some easy talk with me. All I gotta say is I use that experience as a wild card to tell people “I met Kelly Shibari at a Pizza Hut once.” I say that, even though I’m very sure that was not her. I just wanna sound cool!
Can't believe someone actually took a photo of the Pizza Hut I frequented as a kid & uploaded it to the mid-2000's internet. Sadly, no pictures of the interior were found.
I got a nagging suspicion it was this mother fucker.
At the end of the day I guess when our parents said ‘There’s food at the house’ they were counter training us to eat whatever was in front of us & not be picky about food, but on that same token we as people like what we like & most of that won’t or can’t change. I don’t like liver, neither does anyone with tastebuds! On that same token of that same token we need to try new things & not rely on fast food as a common choice because too much of a good thing can’t be good for you. Hell, America’s the fattest country….or is it Mexico…or was it India? Taiwan? Seriously, these obesity documentaries don’t have a clear answer, what is the fattest country? I don’t care, we’s all chubsters & yet despite making sex robots ‘THICC’, we still get the bullcrap of the unrealistic body expectations. Also parents were training us for that day when there’s no food on the fridge & money’s tight. That’s something all kids should learn, also teach boys to cook!
To end this, food at the house can’t be bad. Parents, when you say there’s food at the house, make sure there is good food at the house. Nothing hurts more than being told there’s food at the house only to find out it’s liver. I’ve been thinking, since I grew up with kids who would come to school with baggies of Mc.Donalds to eat at lunch along with bags of hot cheetoes, will they even tell their kids there’s food at the house? I’m talking the kids who aren’t smart, but also didn’t eat enough paste in middle school. Who knows, we already got a bunch of fucking idiots (Teens mostly) eating those laundry detergent pods.
To those idiots, keep on eating them. You won’t be missed & hopefully your parents can replace you with another kid & get this one right this time. I know, dark. That’s where I hang out.
Thank you all for wasting your time with this blog, expect more & keep on trucking, I guess.
Twitter: We’re rebooting that damn page. Too many hoes on that motherfucking meal, artificially asking how a motherfucker feels.