Well enough Dynasty drama, It’s safe for me to say that me & my family grew older with the holiday rather than grown past the holiday. What I mean by this is there are holidays we just grow too old, too cynical or too tired for, like Easter. I guess it happens to everyone sooner or later, we get too old & cynical for certain things & we just give them up without any complaints. Christmas, we grew old for that holiday, stopped believing in the fat man in red & it‘s too much hard work just to impress no one with all the holiday shopping. I don’t want to sound like the terrorist/ un-American, but there’s really no point to 4th of July anymore, just an excuse for non-veterans to get drunk off their ass, get loud & light up fireworks off their ass cheeks. I don’t see any point to celebrate independence while our civil rights are diminished one by one. But I’m starting to sound like a typical Blogababble entry, so I should get back to talking about Turkeys & Spam.
As you can see, holiday’s aren’t as special as they’re hyped up to be. I know there are some people who still celebrate Christmas & Easter & all those holidays, so I’m not going to curse them out or anything. Thanksgiving is that holiday where we get together & should count our blessings because we all need that grim reminder that things can be a lot shittier, & I mean a lot shittier. You’d be crying about being friendzoned by some skank, but the good thing is you’re not under a dictatorship where dictators make you lick soldier’s nail clippings. Be proud of that, hone that. We got too many people, especially in social media (Not going to say who or whom) who bitch & complain about the most stupid shit out there. People in third world countries would kill to be in their situation. Of course this shouldn’t be a once a year thing, but a daily thing, a slap to the face so we don’t bitch about the small inconveniences of life.
I know, there are people running up to me going “Tat’s nut the reel hizzztori oph the hollidaii!”
I’m sure we were all taught this bullshit of the Pilgrims arriving to the shores of what would soon be America, have a fancy ass dinner with Indians & then all was fine, merry & gay. Wait, Indians? Am I right, Pilgrims & Indians? Where was the Maharishi in all of this? Oh sorry, after some clarification, I was using the wrong term, what I meant to say was ‘Native Americans’. Now that makes this all clear. As I was saying, that whole deal with Pilgrims dining with Native American’s was all nothing but PC Teacher, whitewashed grade school bullshit they pass as true history. Drunk History is more accurate than the crap Grade School history teachers have told me, maybe it has changed now in the 2010’s. It’s all been debunked, no use telling the young people lies, especially with the internet.
I am aware of the holiday’s history, built up by lies but we as a people can choose to tweak & change anything to suit each of our personal preferences. That’s why I’m totally against outright banning holidays. We can create & establish any fucking holiday, but people would rather be sheeple & just do away with a holiday rather than rebrand or create a totally different holiday. I give props to the anti-Columbus Day people who decided to rebrand that day as ‘Indigenous Peoples Day’, the reason why we didn’t get the day off on that day is either the SJW’s are so stupid that they didn’t plan it as a day off or the establishment is so damn stupid that they would rather get the day off for a conqueror than get the day off for some equality holiday. I don’t know, both sound plausible; either way (hate to admit it) I give the SJW’s credit for at least rebranding a holiday. Overall, we as people have the right to celebrate what we want without some asshole telling us why we can’t celebrate what we want without national approval. I know Thanksgiving has clout, but here’s the deal, we’re not celebrating the clout. Thanksgiving should be about counting our blessings, if you want to dress up your kids in racially insensitive costumes, then do it. Just don’t come bitching to me when the media starts going medieval on their asses. I’m celebrating the holiday my way, not their way, not in anyone’s way.
I fear Thanksgiving is on it’s way to disappearing into the depths of holiday obscurity.
Did you know there was a ‘Flag Day’? What the bloody hell is a flag day? Is it a day where two Flags love each other very much & make a new flag? If so, I want a flag with the Rebel Alliance logo on it!!!
Thanksgiving is on it’s way to disappearing & I really don’t like it. As much as I’d like to blame Midwestern white SJW’s for this, I also should blame corporate America. These big chain stores have been airing Christmas ads & hyping Black Friday ever since Halloween ended & it’s sickening. The Christmas Creeping, they start early every year & it’s stupid.
These fuckers on Fox News are always ramming their facial vaginas about ’TEH WOR ON KRISSMAS!’, but in reality it’s a war on Thanksgiving. Think about it, students get lots of time off from school, big business always prepare their Christmas related sales earlier & earlier & Network TV (As well as Cable) still air Christmas related programming (not as much as in my childhood but whatever). Christmas isn’t going anywhere, but oh what about Thanksgiving? It used to be that we got two weeks off of school for Thanksgiving, but now we had class on Thanksgiving week (Mainly because it’s college but WHAT THE FUCK! What if I needed some extra days for travel? Well there goes my GPA or my visiting parents!) & the Hallmark Channel (Famous for holiday related movies with bland people in some Colorado small town during holidays) did nothing for Thanksgiving, instead they began their Christmas related scheduling for movies on Halloween day. It’s all Black Friday this & Christmas that, does anyone remember that there was a holiday in November? Despite all the corporate stupidity, Nordstrom (That rich people store almost nobody I know shops at) decided to hold off on decorating their stores because as their memo says “We just like the idea of celebrating one holiday at a time.” Now that’s what I call progress.
We as people with a fucking conscience shouldn’t stand behind this. At least wait till after Thursday you pieces of fucking shit! No, I have no fucking remorse for any of you greedy fucks that wait outside the stores for prices, trample over people just so you can get a toaster for two dollars less. You all sicken me & I have no remorse for you if security guards go postal & spray all your faces with pepper spray & elephant jizz. All you Black Friday shoppers can go fuck yourselves.
I mentioned food, that’s probably the big thing I love about Thanksgiving, the feasts. Alright, who’s idea was it to make ‘Tunkey’ (Turkey) the symbol of a thanksgiving feast? I remember an animated film asking this exact same question, was it Chicken Run? I don’t know. Well, I’m not a big fan of Tunkey, tunkey is whack, especially when boiled, it emits a nasty smell. We’re a ham family, no, more like a ‘Whatever the fuck we like, as long as it tastes good & is different enough’ family. There’s always that ‘ideal’ the media wants to perpetuate on all of us on how to do everything, in thanksgiving’s case it always the go-to of a Turkey & mashed potatoes & for some reason a pumpkin. It doesn’t matter what you’re eating, as long as you are enjoying it & it’s out of your comfort zone & you’re not guilty of being what you are. Thankfully my parents aren’t xenophobes (or so I’m led to believe) so new food is welcome & I’m back to saying that we as a family matured with Thanksgiving, so we don’t bitch when someone decides to make a minor change to our plans. So I get real fucking giddy when my mom lets me make mashed potatoes, “YEAH!!!! Time to show everyone I’m good at cooking!” No one’s a fan of my mashed potatoes. Also, who says we should celebrate a specific holiday in a specific way endorsed by specific people? I thought America was the great big melting pot where we all share cultures, ideas & other stuff? I commend potlucks, what a better way to get to know the neighbors from overseas like food. I don’t get the huge emphasis on Turkey, ham is cool but Tunkey is too unnecessarily complex. Either way, eat whatever the fuck you want. Just cause I hate tunkey doesn’t mean you should hate tunkey, I just don’t feel the turkey, I’M NOT FEELING IT! I’M NOT FEELING THE TUNKEY!!!
I was going to go on a rant about Food drives wanting customers to buy already set up bags of food. I answered my own question & it’s all about the expiration date on those items of food. Some people are dicks, they’ll just put in whatever canned food they don’t want from their shelves without a second glance as kind of a “Eh, doesn’t matter what food I give those damn raggies. If they die from a can of beets from 1993, one less fucking raggie in the streets begging for my hard earned change. I earn my money telling people to put money on some company in Wall Street.” I’m not exaggerating, you bet your ass those assholes exist & they all wear bowler caps. I used to see ads for supermarkets about their food drives every Thanksgiving, our local ABC affiliate used to hawk the hell out of the ‘Albertsons’ food drives, now they’re just hawking the hell out of the Toys For Tots donation thing where they fill up a metro bus with packaged toys. I’m all for toys for the needy kids, no one can eat off toys (Except for the Easy Bake oven), what the hell happened with the food drive? Maybe there are some supermarkets (Not in my area) that are still partaking in a food drive & maybe the Albertsons supermarkets here in LA are still doing the food drive without the need of advertising on TV, I just haven‘t seen it as much. Though I do question, has greed & envy dominated our society? I sound like some hippie liberal, I know, but have we really hit the point now that people give two shits less about Thanksgiving & donations? I agree that caring for the needy should be year round basic knowledge, but all throughout last year & earlier this year there have been news story after news story about cops not only arresting the homeless, but also arresting Good Samaritans for feeding the homeless, mostly in Florida (America’s deflated, floppy, aids ridden penis). It sickens me, I want to say all of America has become the land of the selfish, but thankfully we still got good eggs that didn’t spoil the broth.
I also wanted to talk about the Thanksgiving TV specials & movies, but there aren’t that many. There’s the ‘Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special’, but that one’s overshadowed by both the Halloween & Christmas special. Of course you got that Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade which isn’t for me anymore. I used to dig the hell out of parades as a kid growing up with the Rose Parade, but now it’s just fucking corny, especially when some singer decides to hold a family friendly concert. Despite that, every year we still get the Purina Dog Show which aside from my dislike for a company that poisons dogs, I like watching the classy dog shows, not only do the dogs look funny but I feel classy watching those competitions. Recently ‘Bob’s Burgers’ has been killing it with their Thanksgiving Specials, the last one was just laugh out loud hilarious. The Simpsons has been dead to me & Modern Family, the show just pisses me off (Except for Sofia Vergara).
As a kid I used to be big into WWF or now WWE, since ‘Thursday Night Smack down’ & Thanksgiving fell on the same day, they’d make the matches for the day special. Either they would hold wrestling matches for the troops overseas or they would dress some asshole wrestler that nobody likes as a turkey & force him to eat Rakishi’s ass or something that silly. Either way, Thursday Night Smackdown would always do something cool on Thanksgiving day & as a testosterone fueled kid I’d eat all my food as fast as I can & plop myself onto the TV before I miss anything else. Seems like now no one does anything in TV, it’s just your typical regularly scheduled programming. I don’t know of WWE does anything on Thanksgiving or if they even still air on a Thursday, It’s been long since I’ve watched a wrestling match.
Thanksgiving movies! One I’ve been recently introduced to was called ‘Home Sweet Home’ which is a slasher film set in Thanksgiving. The problem is it’s just a generic slasher film set in Thanksgiving, the slasher part could be set in any day of the year & remain the same film. Besides that, it’s pretty funny & I’m talking about the 1981 Home Sweet Home, there‘s a remake. Jake Steinfeld plays a psychopath & it’s pretty fucking awesome & hilarious. He runs over an old woman with a car & cackles maniacally as he drives away with red jello sauce on the front window. Oh it’s a bad film but it’s just freaking hilarious & it should be watched on Thanksgiving. Apart from those two films, I don’t know any more thanksgiving related films & I don’t know there are some I haven‘t seen or heard about that take full advantage of the holiday.
All throughout the 2000’s FOX used to air the first Spiderman film every thanksgiving, but the problem is it’s not really a Thanksgiving movie. Yeah there’s a pretty good & bombastic action scene where Spiderman fights the Green Goblin on the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, but aside from that scene, it’s not a Thanksgiving film. Then you have ‘The Godfather’ trilogy, they’re not Thanksgiving movies but they seem to be appropriate for the holiday, not just for their orange glow looking filter. They all deal in family & they’re classics, nuff said.
Books, I’m sure there are a lot of Thanksgiving related books out there, but one I typically go to every year is Neil Gaiman’s ‘1602’. It’s not a Thanksgiving story, but the art just feels like the Fall. The whole comic is pretty much a 1600’s take on the Marvel Universe in an end times story & it’s great reading, especially if you’re not as well versed in Marvel comics. You got a Native American Captain America, a badass 1600’s version of Doctor Strange & a creative take on the X-Men. I highly recommend the hell out of this comic run.
‘American Gods’, another Neil Gaiman book I find appropriate for the season. I know I’m going to get some fucking bullshit from people saying “That’s not a thanksgiving book!” There are short vignettes in the book that beef out the overall story that are appropriate Fall reading. The story spans most of the year, but the little vignettes feel like they can make a cool Fall/Winter book on it’s own, especially the big emphasis of real American history, mixed in with the usual Neil Gaiman fantasy with the gods & some pretty weird sex & violence. Neil pretty much said “I’m making a Quinten Tarantino story with gods & magic.” I was expecting more out of the ending but it wasn’t so bad that it warranted me to toss the book in disgust. 1602 & American Gods, they’re not Thanksgiving books but they fit in with the season’s readings. To reiterate, they’re not Thanksgiving books, but they feel appropriate for reading while the weather is freezing out there.
To recap, Thanksgiving is still a holiday I really like because my family still appreciates it & still does stuff on this time of year, which can’t be said for the other holidays.
This has been the Thanksgiving episode of ‘Blogababble’ & I either reminded you how awesome Thanksgiving can be or I depressed you with my rants or made you angry because I expressed love for a holiday the Corporations & SJWs hate. Either way, thanks for reading!
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