Alright, this week I will not be speaking Politics, or Entertainment, nor will I be talking about crazy hobos. This week will be special, this will be the first ever Blogababble CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!! La La La, La La La, La la la la la!!! Oh wait, it’s January, 2015 & I‘m talking to a foreign clientele here so they might not know what a Christmas is. Oh, sorry, can’t do this anymore, I was too late, everyone go home. Goodbye! Gotta take the Christ out of Christmas because a weak athiest would get his or her feelings hurt.
I’m kidding, I’m still doing this & who cares what people say. I will be talking very negatively & kinda personal approach to why I hate Christmas now, like a girl & her time of the month. I hate Christmas or X-mas or Noel Day (Whatever the hell you call it), hence why I called this entry ‘Hells Bells’ & it’s also an awesome song by ‘AC (Lightning Bolt) DC’.
Everyone’s said it & heard it, Christmas is not about the presents. Everyone from Television specials, movies, music, drawn art (Paintings), everyone! It’s about family. Well my family (As in cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) are assholes! Seriously, all my cousins & other aunts are puppets of an aunt who sets herself up as this kind person, but in reality she’s a stuck up bitch. Without getting too personal she pretty much dismissed & insulted my dead grandpa (If you remember, there was the end dedication I put at the end of a Blogababble entry). So yeah, everyone in the family has a hand stuck up their anus & are being controlled by someone with the cash to set up extravagant parties & useless family reunions. So Family is out of the question. Fuck ‘em! I hope their holiday trip in Vegas turns to hell where they’re in trouble by bookies & their hands are smashed by the hammer of a pissed Mafioso! I hate them!
Part of the tradition of the holidays is giving. I collected all the comics that I don‘t read anymore & gave them away to the local kids that play around the apartment earlier last week. Since I always see them playing around in the laundry room I grabbed all the comic books & all the toys & put them in a box so the kids can grab what they like. I also put a post it note on there to let everyone know that they’re all free. Later on I go to take out the trash & I see all the comics, toys & even some games in that trash can, surrounded by disgusting food. They were too damaged to be rescued, ungrateful assholes. Was it the parents or was it the children that did this? I don’t know, all I know is these kids/ people aren’t going to get anything from me anymore. Anyway, screw those fucks, I’m selling the rest of my leftover books & stuff.
Can’t give to hobos because of parents. Don’t you have those parents that are so paranoid that you can’t even give a hobo some spare change? Those are my parents. They’re the mainstream news people that thought ‘Ebola’ was here in the states.
I don’t like toy drives, well the ones that make you buy store bought gifts are the ones I don’t like. Though it seems more & more toy drives are doing more of the ‘Store bought toys only’ thing which I kinda understand, you don’t want a box full of broken hand-me-downs. For every cheap bastard who gives away a Hot Wheels without wheels, there’s always people like me that give away toys that still work & throw away the broken ones. These toy drives are always joint operations with toy stores which pisses me off, it’s another way to bring more business & waste money. I don’t get ‘Toys For Tots’, they used to accept used toys, now they only accept store bought toys. Store bought toys, yeah, kids would rather play with a new toy that was made today & would break in 3 days rather than play with a toy from 1992 that still works.
Then there’s the other tradition of the holiday; the holiday meal. Yeah, in this fucked economy where the holiday meal consists of big entrees of food, no one can afford a holiday meal, not even the middle class & I blame both this economy & adjusted inflation. Fuck you rich people & your kobe steaks & my aunts. Fuck them to hell. I will not stop insulting my aunts, ungrateful cunts.
Also, why is the only time for Sharing & Giving once a month? Should be common knowledge that giving & sharing should be done every year. This shouldn’t be an annual thing, everyday we should act like it’s the holidays. All this shows me is once a year everyone chooses to be nice, then act like dicks the rest of the year; Fucking idiots.
You can’t spell ‘Christmas’ without C-H-R-I-S-T, that should tell you this is a heavily religious holiday. Unlike hardcore atheists (I’m agnostic) I’m not bothered by people when they say ‘Thank the lord almighty it’s the holidays’ or ‘Merry Christmas’ which drives atheists’ bonkers. The shit that pisses me off about this is when people (Cough!! Jehovah’s Witnesses!) use that holiday as an excuse to ,in their own words, Stalk prey & turn them into converts. It’s way more visible during Christmas & Easter, the two Jesus holidays. It’s sick & from what I hear from people living in mid western states, it’s worse. Fucking converts, they think they will rule the planet with one religion & don’t give two fucks about your opinion because their pea-sized brains can’t handle the simple fact that everyone’s different. That’s my rant against these fucks.
This year I was pissed that my all time favorite special (Arthur’s Perfect Christmas) did not air this year. Fucking PBS, instead they aired some messed up cartoon about a man in yellow clothes & a monkey that, for all I know, has been molested by said yellow man! What the fuck! But we’re not going to talk about the Christmas specials, we’re going to talk of how the media portrays/ milks Christmas for what it’s worth like the cash cow it is. Hallmark Channel, of course they’d milk the holiday cow for what it’s worth (since they’re the same corporation that makes greeting cards) but they took the initiative to skip Halloween & go right into Christmas, just like every other corporation! Not only that, but I’m annoyed at the stuff these people watch & release. Pretty much every movie they made for this joyous holiday is nothing original. It’s all ‘Christmas Carol’ remakes or remakes for ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ which I will never watch! Most of every film being made to cash in on the holiday is very trite & clichéd; why can’t we get newer content like ‘The Grinch who Stole Christmas’ (The animated one!) or even ‘Christmas Evil’.
What I also hate are the adverts for everything promoting a Christmas sale. You get the horrible ones with the annoying jingle or the ones that aren‘t made well (all of them). Any of you remember that Rebecca Black song ‘Friday?’ Well, several years ago the department store ‘Khols’ decided to run adverts up the ass blasting that horrid song for their Black Friday sale. Worst marketing ever, I’m no marketing major, but that in no way made me want to shop at their shitty store. Not only that, but some of the Christmas ads were dumb; who in this fucked economy would buy someone a car for Christmas? Seriously, I’ve seen way too many ads from car dealerships recommending the consumer to get a car for someone, along with new carpeting. Oh my, a new carpet, this is the greatest present anyone has ever given me, SAID NO ONE EVER! While you’re at it, why don’t you give that special someone a new toilet seat, it would be very swell to poop, IN STYLE!!! I know all you businesses are trying to strive for that holiday cash that people spend once a year, but some of it is dumb like a Christmas sale on chimney sweeping logs or Wool. I understand that there are people that ask for something that they’ll use every day, but then there are the things we use everyday that should not be given as gifts, because they’re dumb! I just saw an ad for lottery tickets. LOTTOREY TICKETS!!! “Hey old man, I know you’re depressed because you work late, barely have enough to feed yourself with & take the bus everywhere. Well here’s a gift from me to you. A lottery ticket. It’s a 99% chance you’ll loose, don’t bet on miracles kid! Bye bye now!”
Worst advert ever!!!! To hell with Christmas adverts!! I’m a human being with cash, not a fucking product!!!!
Oh ho ho, here we come to the elephant in the room, Social media. Social Media, more like Anti-social media! To be fair, without social media this fucking blog would be read by no one & I’d be speaking to deep space. I’m glad I got three or two people (I’m sill not sure how many people) reading this. Despite the few pros, there are a shit ton of cons, especially on this holiday season. Being a smart person, you can use social media as an advantage. Other people, on the other hand, decide to use social media as a bitch funnel for their problems we as humans don’t give a damn about. It’s messed up, but it’s true! We don’t care!!! “Oh boo hoo, my mom doesn’t want to buy me an I-Phone! Oh boo hoo my broken laptop broke because I was being an idiot! Boo hoo I lost friends online!” Hey, News flash motherfuckers! NOOOOOO!!!! OOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!!! Cares.
It’s worse during the holiday season. Answer me this, how many of you posted pictures of your gifts, or even posted statuses describing what you got under the tree given by your metaphysical being? That shit pisses me off so much! It’s annoying & pointless & a bad expression of consumerism run amok. Seriously, that shit puts people down. Imagine being someone who didn’t get squat for Christmas (Like me) & then that person goes to Facebook & now they see nothing but pictures of greedy bitches gloating about their gifts.
“Hey, my mom got me a computer for Christmas. Hey, my parents got me a fucking Wii U for Christmas. Hey, I’m at Vegas for Christmas!!” FUCK THEM!!!! It’s useless, it won’t matter in the long run & it puts a bummer on a less fortunate person’s day, like the Jewish, then again they can afford all that stuff later on because they‘re jewish. That also puts a strain on parents that give their kids what they can afford, then end up seeing their son or daughter comment on what richy McRich Pants got & puts down the stuff they received. It hurts, man, it pretty much says “Fuck your present, you are a terrible person for not spending a lot of cash on something rather than relying on the ‘heart’ of the gift.” I’ve been on the receiving end of that pain. I gave a girl (who I’m not going to name) a book for Christmas & since she was a religious girl (Who didn’t mind atheists or agnostics). I got her what religious teen girls read, a copy of ‘Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul’, because religious chicks dig that, right? Well, turns out she didn’t like that gift, but she could have at least appreciated the fact that someone took the initiative to give someone a gift. Nope, nothing, I didn’t even get a thanks, TO HELL WITH HER!! It hurts, it really hurts knowing that someone you gave a gift to doesn’t appreciate the kind act. It hurts, makes you feel like you were shot in the face by your mom. So yeah, I hate social media during the holidays, because all you greedy fucks show off & have everyone feel shittier than they already were.
I don’t give gifts to anyone anymore because of the jadedness of people, especially my parents. The people I least expect to feel jaded are my parents (the same people that introduced Christmas to me). Two years ago I got my parents a fountain (The plug in kind with stones on them) & my older sister got my mom a Coffee maker. Two weeks later those same gifts were in the dumpster. I could have understood her selling the coffee maker & fountain, but no, if I can’t enjoy coffee or that fountain, I’ll throw it away. What the fucking fuck!!! I spent all month thinking of what they would like receiving, but they‘re the “Oh, just get me anything.” type & that’s hard for someone trying to get the perfect gift. My dad, I can’t even conjure what he likes & wants. So gift giving for my parents was out of the question.
Back in 2011 or 2010 I did give a friend a nice scarf (That I got at a pharmacy when I used to have Christmas joy) & she thanked me for it. Yeah, saying thanks, what a difficult thing she did, my god I hope she was still alive after saying thanks. Guess what, she is alive & still enjoying that scarf so fuck all you jaded motherfuckers! Then around 2012 I was giving away Christmas cards because I didn’t know what the fuck to give anyone, mainly gave them to teachers & that shit was awkward for me. I don’t know why, but it just was. I stopped giving gifts to teachers because college teachers aren’t the same. I don’t know, they seem more stone-faced than the teachers in High School to elementary. Plus, the teachers think I’m “Coming onto them” & giving bribes for a grade. Everyone’s too busy to shop with finals in their mind, but that’s the price everyone pays for a piece of paper they call ‘A diploma’. Seriously, the week before the holidays is the week all students (from K to College) are still in school, damn districts. Back when I was a kid, it used to be a month long break, American school districts are going to be the death of kids & everyone will still blame ‘laziness’. I keep going off topic, sorry.
I stopped getting gifts for my sisters because they pretty much got everything they want, my older sister spends her job paycheck in online stores (Amazon, Forever 21, Claires, etc.) as well as my younger sister & she’s a spoiled brat. She’s a lazy, no good idiot who can’t even do her own bed & avoids her responsibilities, yet she still gets what she wants!
I love to give, it’s what makes me happy, but as always people are jaded as fuck, which is why I stopped caring about giving, why we don’t have a sequel to ‘Buckaroo Banzai’ & why American television is full of violence, melodrama, pointing fingers, opinions passed as facts & fucked up unhappy shit like that.
So to recap:
- My outer family is full of money grubbing anuses with arms & legs that do nothing but judge & point & convert people to religion & use that religion to get away with insulting people in such cruel ways.
- Holiday feasts are an unrealistic expectation set upon by the media.
-Religion & Christmas shouldn’t go together, yet do.
-Christmas ads start way too early & end way too late. Also they are annoying.
-Only mean rich kids go on social media & brag about their gifts Christmas day.
-And finally, people are fucking jaded (& schools are killing kids).
And thus is the reason why I don’t do Christmas anymore. I tried to do ‘Baxter Day’, but like I said before, jaded family. Baxter Day, only 90’s kids will get what I’m talking about.
I’ve been very personal about this without spewing a lot. As much as I wanted to call out names & type down addresses, I held back. I’ll deal with their bullshit personally & then talk about it because I want them to suffer!!! MUAHAHAHAH!!!! In a serious note that shit they pulled was unethical with my grandparents & need to be taken to task.
So I hope you all had a good holiday; just because I despise this time of the month, I don’t want to bum everyone out with my opinions. If you still like this winter season, keep on liking it because you have been spared by the bullshit that no one has control over. On holiday, vacation, Christmas, kwanza, I don’t care what you call it! I hope you had a good one of those & I’m still sticking by my position, Christmas sucks, fuck that holiday, I celebrate Baxter Day!
You want to contact us or add us to your bookface thing or look at reblogged pictures that will mess with your mood. Here are the links. SAUSAGE LINKS!!! I’m not kidding about the mood altering pictures, one second I’ll be posting a picture of a meme, after that would be a post about police brutality, then a picture of a cute fat girl, uneven shit!!!!
I’ll see if I can talk about something fun next week, if not then be prepared to burn bridges.