This is the first time I’ve done this. A Blogababble Mini!
I’m busy with a long & huge (That’s what she said.) Blogababble entry & while doing so, a lot of stupid stuff is happening while I focus on my main entry that doesn’t really require ranting (in a way) about current affairs. I‘ll be taking a break from that, but since this is too much to hold onto, I may as well spend a page or two talking about the daily BS. So this is a Blogababble mini, a short & simple entry focusing on something happening in our world today or something that’s been recently bugging me. I hope to do one several times a month & continue focusing on THE BIG ONE!
So it is Spring Break for all of us college douche bags & my god, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever said this, FUCK SPRING BREAK! But I’m not going to talk about spring break, instead I’m going to complain about something stupider, a Cheerios commercial.
Recently, a cheerios commercial has been annoying me as of recent. Before you click out of this blog, I’m not complaining about that commercial with the mixed race couple or the gay couple. They did their job & pissed off the fuck nuggets, I’m talking about one I recently saw on Univision that’s targeted to all of us bilingual people & was desperate to make the viewer go ‘AWWWW’.
Let me translate here, in the commercial the kid is speaking Spanish with a bit of an accent that is mostly associated with non-Spanish speakers (or someone from Chile. He sounds Chilean) trying to speak Spanish. The kid tells his dad that the kids in school tell him he speaks weird & he feels pretty ostracized. Still pretty harmless there, it happens to all of us who were born speaking a language besides English. Then the dad tells him “You’re not weird, you speak bilingual.” Still, pretty harmless there. Then this part just drives me up the wall, the dad ruins that fucking soft moment, fucks through the boundary & goes on to say “It’s a superpower.”
No no nooono no! Fuck you, kiss my ass, suck my dick!! What the fuck, this is where I draw the fucking line here. While you’re at it, why don’t you tell the poor kid he can heal diseases & send him off to a children’s hospital knowing that too is a bullshit lie. Alright, that one was too low of a blow, I’m sorry guys. But don’t you see it, why in this day in age do parents gotta make stupid lies than be frank & factual to kids? They instead gotta slap on this fucking “You’re more special than anyone else” bullshit, that’s how hipsters & gentrification happen! This is how Kanye West happens.
Alright parents, before I get the whole “They are special because we spent hours in the medical bay of some spacecraft pushing out my son or daughter..” spiel here, I get it, even though I’ve not been through it, I understand. There’s smothering kids, then there’s SMOTHERING kids. Why’s everything have to be so dumbed down for kids, then later on complain that everything is so dumbed down for kids that it’s making them stupid (so the mainstream thinks). Kids are smarter than everyone thinks, they’re purpose for childhood is to explore & be exposed to stuff that’s been passed down from generations or stuff that’s new. So that’s why they believe everything they’re told, because everyone in the human race is a sponge in some way or another. Some of us soak everything everywhere, others have filters that separate what we soak & what we leave out. Where am I getting at with this? Quit treating kids like idiots, teach them to grow a filter & quit feeding them lies!!!! You want a kid to stop acting like a dumbass, then start by telling them that Santa Clause isn’t real. Crass, I know but it’s better than building something up that doesn’t even exist.
Because you’re bilingual doesn’t mean you got some super powered BS here. What I was taught as a kid was my brain worked like a seesaw, learning English tilted that see-saw & as I became fluent in English, that see-saw tilted more & now I speak like a retard when I talk in Spanish. Yeah, there are kids that are experts in all languages, ends up growing up to be travellers getting paid 20K a month touring a country & banging hookers. Guess what? I’m not one of those fucking kids. If I were, I’d be out of here & this blog wouldn’t be as crazy as it is.
Parents, don’t go around telling kids they got superpowers, that’s just dumb right there. Be factual with the kids, they’re smarter than you think. Instead of telling them that babies come from storks or some guy named ‘Bonodouchi’, skip the porn & tell them about how babies are genetically made.
I wanna see a follow up of this Cheerios commercial where that same kid goes back to school & his friends tease him for his bilingualness (If that’s a word) & he outright shouts “I have superpowers!!!” & just ends up getting his ass kicked & pissed on, because Public School. Then again, where does this whole “Let’s criticize a kid’s speech.” come from? There are funny accents out there, I admit I laughed at some, but not in a “Hahahaha, let’s make fun of the British kid because he speaks funny!” kind of way. I always laugh in the “Hahahahah I wish I had his accent.” kind of way. I swear, if this blog were read in an dramatic reading by Patrick Stewart or Edris Elba, this blog would be taken way more seriously & I’d probably be paid by the word.
If you enjoyed this mini here, contact me & tell me so I can do another one. If not, I’ll stop with the minis & just work on that big & pretty personal (not in a depressing way) Blogababble entry.
Moral of the story: Kids aren’t homosuperiors, but they also aren't homoinferiors either.